How Did I Get HERE?

www.nadinebuckinger.com

2010-01-15T16:53:00.002-05:00

This blog has been put to rest. If you are looking for Nadine Buckinger please try www.nadinebuckinger.com

2008-06-11T14:33:00.001-04:00

(I'm not here anymore... but I am here :-)

Roll the credits...

2008-02-24T14:34:00.004-05:00

Oh the stress of deciding on an image for the final post!
I finally settled on this one after leafing through an old sketch book. It feels happy and I think captures what this blog has been for me - a collage of ideas and art and growing. I do feel a little sad writing this last post, but I also know my interest has waned, and blogging was starting to feel more like a chore than something inspiring.

So just a little housekeeping before I put this baby to rest...
I am going to leave the blog "live" for the time being. That means even though I won't be adding anything new, you will still be able to look at all the posts. I'm also going to leave commenting open for a few weeks. Comments are automatically emailed to me, so even if you comment on something from months back, I will get it.

The Flickr site address is www.flickr.com/photos/nadines-life
I find the easiest way to view it is by clicking on Sets.
My plan is to update Flickr on a more regular basis with both artwork and photos.
My email address is nadine@triad.rr.com

Well, I guess that's about it. Thank you, thank you for all the kind comments. It is a very fuzzy feeling to hear that something you created brightened someone else's day.

Final Performance! This Sunday!

2008-02-21T15:56:00.004-05:00

I've decided to make this Sunday (which I think will be number 186!) my final post.
In lieu of blogging, you'll find me...
• reading piles of great books
• hiking with Jimmy and his handsome new backpack
• planning for our trip to Spain in May (yes! you heard me right!)
• painting, painting, painting
• being in the moment
Thank you so much for taking the time to follow this little experiment :-)
I'm keeping my Flickr site and plan to add images there on a more regular basis. And of course, you can always reach me by email - nadine@triad.rr.com
See you Sunday!

History 101

2008-02-14T20:54:00.004-05:00

I am leaving tomorrow for a weekend with my art group. We are sequestering ourselves at one member's vacation place in order to hunker down and get our "Narrative Timelines" written. Despite the task at hand (which we all seem to be having trouble with), I think it will be a great couple of days filled with food and writing and walks and creative support. And after procrastinating on this project for, how many months?, I am excited at the thought of actually having it finished!

Silent Sunday

2008-02-10T21:14:00.000-05:00

I'm sick of carrying all your stuff...

2008-02-07T16:08:00.000-05:00

In my defense, I've never tied a bandana around his neck, or taken a photo of him in sunglasses and a baseball cap.

CV

2008-01-31T18:10:00.000-05:00

telemarketer
babysitter
camp counsellor
shop girl
employment counsellor
bike courier
waitress
theatre usher
chambermaid
makeup counter clerk
receptionist
graphic artist

Time well wasted.

2008-01-27T21:04:00.000-05:00

Have had a bit of a frustrating day with this painting. There are elements of it I like, and others that I don't, and I'm not quite sure how to fix the yukky bits without ruining the good bits. As I've been working on it, I've been thinking about musicians and how different their art experience is. When you are learning to paint and making a bunch of crap, you literally end up with a bunch of crap. Ya, you can paint over them sometimes (and one of the things I love about encaustic is I can actually scrape it off and reuse it), but still. There is a lot of not so good stuff piled around taking up space. (And what about potters? What do they do with all the lopsided bowls and mugs with cracks?)
My train of thought was about pianists practicing a piece of music, making mistakes, and spending time, re-doing, re-doing, trying to get it right. They would certainly not consider that time wasted. But with visual art, I sometimes feel defeated when I've put time into a painting and then end up tossing it. I know there are lessons in the failure - what worked, what didn't, but in the end, when the tangible thing that represents my time is crumpled up and tossed out, I feel sorta... Well, crap, I could have been reading a book... :-)
On the flip side, musicians put all that time into something that is gone the moment it is created. Nothing to frame, nothing to hang up that documents their time and effort and progress and talent.
Just something to think about.

And a cute photo of my studio assistant. Because no matter how crappy I think something is, when I hold it up and say "Jimmy, what do you think?" he always wags his tail in approval.

Book 'em Danno.

2008-01-24T12:28:00.001-05:00

I need reading advice.
I went to the library yesterday, and once again found a bizillion books I want to read. Same things happens at the book store. Thing is, I haven't found a system for actually setting aside time to read. I find time to walk the dog, do yoga, surf the web, eat, sleep, brush my teeth, even meditate occasionally, but I just can't seem to find a slot in my day for reading.
And it's the one thing I really really want to do!
I think I may need to swap my surfing for reading...

Announcement!

2008-01-20T19:32:00.000-05:00

Photo Tuesday has been put on hold.
I am in a bit of a January blogging slump, so rather than torture you with drivel, I am cutting down to two posts a week.
I'm not totally committed, but for now, Sunday will remain a piece of art from the past week, and Thursday has been renamed "This is my life Thursday".
The art group that I belong to is working our way through Julia Cameron's "Vein of Gold". The first chapter's assignment is to write our life history.
Ugh.
And again - Ugh.
I am having so much trouble with this!
My London: 1988 post was an attempt to attack the assignment from a different angle. It was sort of fun, and did seem to stir up my memory bank (also brought my friend Stephane out of the shadows, and that was nice :-)
At the risk of appearing totally self-absorbed, I am going to use my Thursday post as a tool to get me through this life story assignment. I'll try to include an amusing illustration to offset the possibly mind-numbing recollections of my youth :-)
And sometimes, Thursday will be about life here and now, where I'll slip in a photo anyway :-)
Like this one from our "big snow storm" this weekend...

Just Do It

2008-01-20T19:03:00.000-05:00

Had another dry week in the studio. Then at 2 o'clock this afternoon, I decided if I didn't take the plunge and put some wax on my new panels that arrived Friday, the fear of "ruining them" would escalate until I was totally paralyzed. I've been having trouble finding the right substrate to do my encaustic painting on, then finally found this guy online a few weeks ago. The panels are really well crafted (and compared to the price of framing, a total bargain), but because they are so nice, it's a little intimidating to do anything to them.
But I plunged ahead and now have a nice background to work with.
In typical Nadine fashion, I have no idea what this painting will become. Stay tuned.

London, 1988

2008-01-17T21:28:00.000-05:00

It's always there. You just have to look.

2008-01-15T16:26:00.001-05:00

Yes, there is the crack in the wainscoting. But around 5 o'clock, the sun does something magic through the front door.

Stuff. Misc. Other.

2008-01-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

Didn't paint a thing this week.
Didn't draw, sketch or doodle either.
What I did do was be crafty gluestick girl :-)
I decorated a new Moleskine for my January to-do notes and grocery lists, made some glass pebbles I'll leave here or there for someone else to find, and put together this cute little filing system for all those important but where-the-heck-do-I-keep-this? pieces of paper.
It ain't the Mona Lisa, but it was fun :-)

6.6 Billion timelines to manage.

2008-01-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

Working on my new header the other day got me thinking about the whole "How did I get here" thing. The question of course isn't just about how did I end up in the US, or the South, or Winston-Salem. It also covers, how is it I became a graphic artist? Married a scientist? Got into yoga?
I have this theory about God and a chess board and how life unfolds. Like, maybe those years I spent travelling weren't really about making sure I saw the world, but was just a way of keeping me occupied so David could get through a marriage and divorce, putting me back in Ottawa at the right moment for our time lines to cross. It's that whole "everything happens for a reason" thing, it's just that sometimes the reason is something seemingly unrelated that isn't going to happen for 2 or 20 years. Maybe living here has to do with lessons here, but just maybe, this is one of God's early moves in the chess game; he's already thinking 8 moves ahead.
I was walking to work one morning and ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for years. Our walking routes were completely perpendicular to each other; there was a window of maybe one minute in which we would meet. If I had spent another minute brushing my teeth, or stopped to tie my shoe, or a million other distractions, we would have missed each other again, just like we had been doing for months. I often wonder how much of that is going on all the time and I am totally unaware. Missed opportunities, missed encounters, missed dangers. I like to think I've been saved from many a car wreck because I forgot my purse and had to go back in the house :-)

This is why I must go back to Puerto Rico.

2008-01-08T11:40:00.001-05:00

In 2003, I tagged along to one of David's meetings in Puerto Rico, and fell in love with the place. When we returned home and I had the photos developed, I discovered at least half of them were blocked by a big fat close up of my knuckle.
Harrumph.
I present the photograph above as supporting evidence in my case, that I should return this year to San Juan with my fancy new digital camera with its instant "view and delete" function.
David, I promise not to get drunk on Mohitos and dance in the street every night like last time.

In other news...
New Year, new header for HDIGH! It's doing something weird and falling out of the border on the right. Will keep working on it.

Look up. Look waaaay up...

2008-01-06T14:00:00.000-05:00

coloured pencil, beeswax and oil paint on paper
I was doing a little New York daydreaming yesterday. January always finds me cruising Tripadvisor and Travelocity - armchair travelling to fill the void left after the long and exciting buildup to Christmas.
The Empire State may be taller and have more movie credits, but in my book, nothing tops New York's Chrysler Building.

After the first scan, I added some red balloons and the "Toyota birds". I like the added bit of red, but don't love the placement. I also used some of that old wax I scraped off the first wheat painting :-)

Ooops.

2008-01-03T14:18:00.000-05:00

When I got home from work yesterday, we didn't have any water. The temperature had dropped well below freezing overnight and hovered on the brink all day, but we had taken nice hot showers in the morning, so it didn't seem likely the pipes had frozen. After calling Carol next door and confirming her water was ok, I called City Maintenance to see if they were doing work in the area...
"Ma'am, your water has been disconnected for non-payment."
Ooops.
Most of our utilities are set up with automatic bank draft, but not the water. I guess I overlooked the December bill. Funny though - no Final Notice, no tag on the door with a number to call to get it turned back on, no chance to fill up the bathtub in preparation...
It turned out not to be a big deal. I just gave them a credit card number and someone was back out here within a couple of hours. Made me think what a little crisis it could have been though if I was say, a single mum with kids in diapers. Perhaps without a credit card, having to scramble to find the cash, maybe take a taxi or bus to the office to pay in person. Could I go a few days without running water? Sheesh, I brush my teeth ten times a day.
Just a little something to think about next time you turn on the tap.
Gratitude.

*photo found on www.chinadaily.com.cn

Calendar Girl

2008-01-01T18:42:00.001-05:00

Don't ya just love hanging up your new calendar?
I'm a little addicted, so my cubicle alone gets two or three, then one for the kitchen, one for my studio... Is it weird to hang a calendar in the bathroom?
Happy New Year all :-)

The Art of Enjoying Life

2007-12-29T17:04:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow (Sunday) we will spend driving home, so no Art of Sunday post. I have added many more photos to the Flickr site if you are in need of a giggle :-)

Peter and Ruth in the Atlantic. In December.

This Christmas I am thankful for...

2007-12-27T19:11:00.000-05:00

Happy Day

2007-12-25T15:39:00.000-05:00

A few pics to say Merry Christmas from the North Carolina Coast.
More here.
Hope everyone is enjoying this day :-)

Not a Creature Was Stirring...

2007-12-22T21:44:00.000-05:00

Couldn't resist posting this again :-)
We are heading for the coast tomorrow with a rented mini van full of suitcases, golf clubs, cookies, chocolates, dog toys and presents.
Wishing you all a peaceful and happy holiday.

What Goes on Behind Closed Doors

2007-12-20T20:58:00.000-05:00

So after we brought home the $200 worth of groceries, it seemed a shame to put them in the pantry with the yukky old shelf liners and the odd dried up mouse poop.
... Well, I thought it was just the odd poop. Ugh.
Ruth and I spent Tuesday afternoon cleaning out the pantry. The oldest item we found was a 2001 6-pack of Sprite (who drinks Sprite in this house??). The inventory also included 8 expired boxes of Duncan Hines Brownie mix, and a 5 pound bag of unopened dried fruit that David got at Costco four years ago.
I knew there was a mouse, because occasionally I'll find a hole chewed in the corner of a cereal box, or a poop on the shelf. After months of no success catching the dang thing (and Hello, I have a zoo in my attic - a mouse in the pantry is the least of my worries) we moved the important pantry items to the safety of the kitchen counter.
Removing all that stale and expired food revealed much more mouse activity than I had realized. Like maybe a family reunion. A Bar Mitzvah. Perhaps a wedding reception? As I was scrubbing the shelves I said to Ruth, "this is the kind of thing, that if I had just moved in and found the cupboard like this, I would think, "What kind of disgusting people could live in this filth??!!"

Oh, I guess that would be me.

* image found here

Life this week on West End Boulevard...

2007-12-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

Ruth and Peter arrive safely Saturday night.

Large quantities of groceries are purchased.

The kitchen once again becomes the hub of activity.

Jimmy still finds time for his afternoon nap at Carol's.

While the new neighbours begin construction of a prison wall behind my swing.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

2007-12-16T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is a little drawing I did when we were in Steamboat Springs Colorado in January 2006.
I miss snow.
Especially at this time of year.
Pretty white magical snow.

PS. Ruth and Peter arrived from Winnipeg last night :-)
I'm quite sure they are not missing the snow right now.

It all adds up.

2007-12-13T18:05:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday David :-)

2007-12-12T07:10:00.000-05:00

Enjoying an unusually warm December day.

2007-12-11T19:29:00.000-05:00

One of our favourite places to walk. Jimmy prefers the "dog-width sidewalk".

4:30pm. Perfect light for great shadows.

The Frisbee field.

In the summer, the sky is always heat-blasted and smog-filled. But now, finally, some blue skies have reappeared.

One happy dog :-)

Loosen Up.

2007-12-09T16:08:00.000-05:00

paper, coloured pencil, beeswax, encaustic and oil on 12x12 mdf
I wanted something happy for the kitchen. And having finished this one, I now have some more ideas that could turn into a nice little series of "kitchen art".

I recently bought myself "The Principles of Uncertainty" by artist Maira Kalman. The book, which started as a blog of sorts in the New York Times, is like... like what? Candy, and colour, and a circus, and finger paints, and Christmas morning :-) This book will keep me occupied for months to come. I am so inspired by the loose, "un-perfect" style. Women have triangles for noses. Men's eyelids are bright blue. Working with the beeswax, I think I am finally starting to find a style that feels like me, and forces me to stay loose. It's a funny thing, because most of the artists and illustrators I love work in a loose and (can I say?) messy way, and yet I struggle to allow that in my own stuff. You'd think I would just be able to draw and paint in a way that echos the style I like in others, but it doesn't seem to work that way. If I was drawn to realistic oil paintings, say, a la da Vinci, well hello, of course that might be difficult to achieve, but my inspiration seems within reach of my talent and experience, but just out of reach of my comfort zone. What I love in others work, I want to "fix" in mine. Funny that.

Inspiring:

Maira Kalman

Diane Bigda

Jenny Sue Kostecki-Shaw

Oldies but Goodies.

2007-12-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

I've had these two comic strips in my wallet, or on my bulletin board for years. Make that, YEARS.
I was never really a fan of Garfield or Hi and Lois, I was more a Calvin and Hobbes aficionado. For some reason these two strips make me smile though. Maybe it's the dry humour, Ditto's expression while he's thinking, and Garfield's finger.
Anyway, I've been carrying them around for 20 years, thought I'd share.

How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

2007-12-04T11:20:00.001-05:00

Ok, they aren't the highest quality photographs, but considering I took them on a cloudy day through windows that haven't been cleaned since we moved in, they aren't bad. This is how Jimmy spends his days. Lying in the window at our neighbour's house watching the world go by. Sometimes I'll just see his little white mound of a back in the sunshine. Snoozing away. Seeing Jimmy in the window never fails to bring a smile to my face. When I pull in the driveway from work, it's the first place I look. What a life :-)

Take Two.

2007-12-02T20:25:00.001-05:00

Boats & Buoys.
Coloured pencil, paper, beeswax, oil paint on 12"x12" mdf

Remember last Sunday when I posted "3 Nests. 3 Birds. 3 Trees"?
Ya, I decided I didn't like it.
I melted it down and made this one re-using much of the same wax.
And I like it much better :-)

PS. Blogger is having some issues, so if you click on the image it won't automatically open in a window. I'll re-upload it once Blogger has the bug worked out.

I Did It!!!!

2007-11-29T19:27:00.000-05:00

I did it! For the first time EVER, I finished all my Christmas shopping before December 1st! (And yes, Kelly that includes yours!) Yay! Yay! Yay! For the next three weeks I can sit at home listening to A Charlie Brown Christmas drinking Eggnog, while the rest of Winston-Salem is stuck in parking lot gridlock or trapped in Macy's with The Chipmunks singing "Jingle Bell Rock" slowly driving them mad...
Ahhh, the sweet leisure of the season... :-)

There and Back

2007-11-27T19:21:00.001-05:00

I'm fascinated by cotton fields. There are none near here, but en route to the coast we pass through a cotton growing area. The fields always make me think of slavery, but the plant itself is such a pretty thing. A little squishy puff of white. Just like you had pulled it out of a box.

And of course, the traditional self-portrait :-)

The Kindred Spirit mailbox is hidden up in the dunes a good walk down the beach. The box is filled with blank journals and pens for wanderers to leave a message. I've never written anything, but like to sit and read what others have to say. Often the messages are to loved ones gone, sometimes to new loves. There must be someone who comes and collects the filled journals. I wonder if there is a Kindred Spirit publishing house?

The Vrana clan hard at work preparing the feast.

Liz and Paul (the other Canadian couple :-) finding space for one more bite...

When we got home, the Ginkgo had not only turned colour, but had dropped all her leaves into a beautiful yellow blanket around her trunk :-)

3 Nests. 3 Birds. 3 Trees.

2007-11-25T20:30:00.000-05:00

coloured pencil, paper, beeswax, oil paint on 12"x12" mdf
But enough about me. Take a look at this.
Some of them creep me out a little, but, wow.

PS. Word is Tiger is settling happily into his new home :-) Yay!
PPS. The beach was great. I'm still digesting. Photos on Tuesday.
PPPS. Can I start talking about Christmas now?

On Changing Your View, and Learning to Let Go.

2007-11-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

My backyard swing used to be tucked up behind the garage next to the fence under a big River Birch. You could sit out there, hidden from view, with only the trees and the grass and the birds as your witness. I liked taking my afternoon tea out there and watching the squirrels run around the yard. Then this Spring, new people bought the house behind us and cut down all the beautiful bamboo that served as our fence along the back. David spent the first summer we lived here battling the bamboo which wanted to take over the yard, but he eventually got it under control, and it was a beautiful tall evergreen forest between us and the house that sits up above us. With the bamboo forest gone, sitting in the backyard now felt like being in a big soup bowl with the new neighbours looking down from above. And my view from the swing went from a green forest to a big ugly bare slope.
And so, the swing sat empty all summer.
A few days ago it dawned on me that I could move the swing to the BACK of the yard facing the house. Might not be as cosy and private as the old spot, but I could look at the other nice trees in the yard, and besides, I wasn't using the swing where it was anyway.
Given my druthers, I'd take the bamboo back and still be in my little private corner. But the ugly slope is what I have to work with now, and it is sorta nice to see the house and wave at David when he pulls in the driveway.

Today, Carol and I took Tiger out to his new home in the country. They are a nice young couple with an energetic Jack Russell on a dead end gravel road 35 minutes from here.
The situation is not my "perfect". There's no fenced yard.
But the couple is gentle and kind and Tiger will be cuddled and loved and have his fill of entertainment and exercise with his new sister. There is a huge Great Dane puppy next door who also seems to roam the property and will probably make a great playmate. I've never lived rurally. I don't "get" letting dogs run loose. Alarm bells go off about cars and dog-nappers and scary monsters in the woods. But the couple seems responsible, have put up a big dog run, and have managed to train the Jack Russell to stay in the yard.
Given my druthers, I'd put Tiger in a home with a 6 foot fence. But this is what we have to work with now, and in the end all the good things outweighed my fears about the fence.
So tonight, with Tiger in his new home, I'm working on changing another view.
And letting go.

PS. No "Thursday Mix" this week. We are going to the coast for American Thanksgiving. See you Sunday :-)

Doodling

2007-11-18T17:28:00.001-05:00

Sometimes art doesn't have to make any sense at all :-)

I Did That.

2007-11-15T18:18:00.000-05:00

When we moved into our house, there was a great big Bradford Pear Tree in the front yard. It was old and beautiful and David and I made jokes about it as a way to procrastinate about doing any home renovations. We'd say, "well, we can't do "X", "Y", "Z" until the Pear Tree is gone." (*can someone please tell me if the period goes inside or outside the quotation mark if the quote ends the sentence?) I think the joke stemmed from some dream of having a wrap-around porch which the Pear Tree would obviously be in the way of.
A few years ago the Pear Tree exploded in a big wind storm, and we had to take the whole thing down. The house suddenly seemed exposed, and it felt a little weird to sit on the front porch in full view of the street. It was totally impossible to sit there midday in the full sun with no shade to be had. Two years ago we planted a Maple Tree in the same spot where the Pear had been. And this week it has treated us to a show of yellows and reds and oranges that ripple up and down the branches. There are lots of beautiful autumn trees in the neighbourhood right now, but none of them feel as special to me as the one in my front yard. I look at that tree and think I did that. Not in a possessive "mine mine mine" sort of way, but more like, "I helped add this little piece of beauty to the world". (in or out?)

Wabi-Sabi Two...sday

2007-11-13T13:30:00.000-05:00

Another set of photos from my wabi-sabi walk last week...

Last night I went to see Elizabeth Gilbert speak at Salem College. I have the audio version of Eat Pray Love and often play it when I am working in my studio. It always feels like a good friend is sitting in the corner chair telling me stories of her adventure. In the Q&A session after the talk, someone asked her to repeat the three things she suggested (in a recent appearance on Oprah) that one do everyday. And here they are:
1) Every morning write down something you really, really, really want. Elizabeth said she hadn't realized how much she wanted to learn Italian until she noticed it showing up again and again on her morning list.
2) Every night write down one thing that made you happy that day. It doesn't have to be something big, perhaps it was just a moment of happiness, but like with the "really want" list, it will shed light on what actually fills you up (because lets be honest, sometimes we truly don't know). She quoted a poem that used the phrase "stubborn gladness." I like that.
3) Change your mantra. She talked about how most of us have some negative dialogue that we are constantly beating ourselves up with... "I always screw up... I'm too old to start... I'll just procrastinate so why bother trying..." blah blah blah. I think the last one is mine. So many unfinished projects in my past have me think I won't finish new ones even before I start them. So replace that mantra with something more positive and encouraging. Makes sense to me :-)

She was very funny and affable, and less woo-woo than perhaps I've made her sound in this post. I just might listen to a little of her book this afternoon...

A Bird in Hand ...

2007-11-11T20:11:00.002-05:00

... what is it? ...is worth two in the bush?
Just back from a 3 day yoga/meditation workshop in Durham. I had planned to do some cute little illustrations of yours truly in sublime and pretzelesque configurations, but dang, my arms are just too sore to lift a pencil :-)
So instead, a little slice of a painting I am working on.

Be Prepared.

2007-11-08T18:25:00.001-05:00

Every year I say I will have all my Christmas shopping done by the end of November. Mmmm, I'm not sure I ever have.
Hope springs eternal.
Today's Thursday Mix is dedicated to making Christmas a little less... well you know.

Etsy.
Etsy is both wonderful and overwhelming. You can find everything from 50 cent crocheted bobby pins to thousand dollar paintings. I've found giving myself some rules about trying to buy as locally as possible narrows my choices (stay within North America, Eastern States preferred) and helps keep my carbon footprint in check. The more I shop on Etsy, the more "The Mall" gives me the heebie jeebies.

Green Dimes.
It's catalogue season. There have been years I've received 3 or 4 Lands End catalogues in one week. I ask you. I signed up with Green Dimes a little over a year ago, and the reduction in junk mail has been significant. Even the mailman commented on it a few months ago :-) No more credit card applications. No more Victoria's Secret catalogues (ya, sorry about that honey). No more too-heavy-to-carry-to-the-curb recycling bin every week. They don't seem to have expanded to Canada yet, but I'm sure there must be something similar.

Reciva.
I just discovered this a few days ago, and I'm hooked :-) A little bit like Pandora, but radio stations. You can browse by country or genre, or like me, just type in Bossa Nova or Big Band and your online shopping will be so much more pleasant :-)

(Ok, no more talk of Christmas for at least three more weeks.)

Wabi-Sabi Tuesday

2007-11-06T13:43:00.000-05:00

I'm having a wabi-sabi day. Being Photo Tuesday, I took my camera with me on my walk with Jimmy this morning. I could have taken 20 photos every two steps. Everything looked, perhaps not beautiful, but interesting, and in transition, and worthy of documentation before it changed again. Everyone oohs and ahhs at the changing of the leaves, but fall brings wonder-full changes in more subtle ways too. You just have to slow down (and sometimes look down :-) I think I took about 40 photos, but am sure Blogger will not allow me to post them all, so here is a little taste of my wabi-sabi walk.
Everything was telling a story this morning...

9 Great Years

2007-11-04T14:08:00.001-05:00

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!

*look here for last year's pic.

Dias de los Muertos

2007-11-02T17:16:00.000-04:00

I decided not to go to the party. As much as I'd like to imagine myself a social butterfly, I'm just not.
So instead, I took Ruth's advice and have peppered the last two days with Day of the Dead activities :-)
I started my Dias de los Muertos celebration by visiting the Days of the Dead exhibit at the Wake Forest Museum of Anthropology. It was a small show, but a good little introduction to the traditions of the holiday. My second stop was a grocery store in Winston-Salem's "Little Mexico" neighbourhood. Ruth and I discovered it a few years ago when she was here visiting. It's fun to go with her because she speaks Spanish and can read all the labels to me :-) Yesterday though, I had a mission, so no need for a label translator - I was shopping for Bread of the Dead and sugar skulls. There is a little bakery at the back of the grocery store, but surprisingly, they were not making Pan de Muerto. I ended up getting a packaged one (not unlike a packaged doughnut). The shape was right though - a round loaf with strips of dough rolled out and attached to resemble bones. I also picked up a yummy coconut juice and a little plate of diced papaya sprinkled with chili powder.
Today I think was more of a success. The little coffee house /gallery space /commune /performance spot where Mary Ann had her portraits show a few weeks ago is also celebrating Dias de los Muertos this week. They had a traditional alter set up on their covered patio and were inviting people to bring photos of loved ones to place on it. Last night I searched unsuccessfully for the one photo I have of my friend Catherine who died in December 2000. I must find that photo, but for today its disappearance was a bit of a blessing. I sat down and drew a little picture instead. Catherine in the middle with all the things she loved in a circle around her... Her dog Nicholas, her well-used library card, her cigarettes, The Joy of Cooking, her flower garden, wind chimes. Drawing that little illustration made me slow down and really remember my friend and what a dear soul she was. I went to Krankies late this afternoon, tucked Catherine's picture under some Marigolds on the alter and sat in the coffee shop to enjoy a Mexican hot chocolate in her honour.

Rest your weary eyes here

2007-10-30T18:46:00.001-04:00

I have no words today.
And I apologize for not knowing where I pulled this image from.
I found it saved on my desktop.
Thank you whoever took this photo.
It feeds my soul.

Salvaged!

2007-10-28T11:44:00.001-04:00

The bottom section I wasn't happy with, scraped off and saved for another painting.

I mixed up a soft purple-brown that doesn't compete so much with the top of the painting.

Using my tool of choice (a picture nail :-) to draw the bison into the wax. Then I use my finger to push a little oil paint mixed with linseed oil into the grooves, and wipe away the excess with a paper towel.

I love the way they look like cave paintings.

And success! A painting redeemed :-)

Sorry officer. I didn't see the sign.

2007-10-25T12:35:00.000-04:00

Rules I (sometimes) Break With No Remorse:
• Dogs must be leashed
• Do not exceed 3 caplets in a 24 hour period
• Speed limit 45mph
• No outside food or drink allowed
• Hand wash, lay flat to dry

*(image found here. originally posted by Andrea (i think?)

Video Tuesday

2007-10-23T13:10:00.000-04:00

A little clip from the adoption fair on Saturday. I thought maybe if I put a sign saying Gift with Purchase: Adopt the Puppy, Get Husband Free!
How could anyone resist this pair?
Well, little Tiger did not find a new home, but we will return to the adoption fair again this weekend (and for as long as it takes). He is now neutered and starts puppy training this Thursday at PetSmart. David has been taking him out every evening for a long walk and says he is puppy-perfect on the leash :-) I told David we should start a reality show called "Flip This Dog". Every week would show David turning some junk yard puppy into a perfect pet. (Oh ya, I think that show already exists. It's called "The Dog Whisperer".)
*As this is my first attempt at posting a video, please let me know if any of you have problems viewing it.

Dusty

2007-10-21T18:04:00.000-04:00

Just when you were beginning to think all I ever drew was birds and dogs... Ha!
I haven't gone mad, stick with me. I am percolating an idea that involves my wheat field painting and a book I read last year about the dust bowl called The Worst Hard Time.
People died of dirt. They literally filled up with dirt - their lungs, stomachs, intestines. The air they breathed was full of it and it killed them. Here are some photos that are worth looking at...
dust
more dust
even more dust
What the photos don't show is the terrible electricity that was in the air. People could not touch one another. The electrical shock would knock you over. The electrical systems in cars burned out just from the charge in the air. And it went on for six or seven years.
hmmm... I sure hope we get some rain this week....

PS. Check out Ruth's interesting comment about her authentic Mexican Day of the Dead experience on the previous post. I haven't decided about the party yet. Procrastinating my way into next week...!

My I-side

2007-10-18T13:09:00.000-04:00

In University I took the Myers Briggs test. You know the one. Answer a million questions and find out if you should be a hotel clerk or a brain surgeon. I was an INFP (Introversion INtuition Feeling and Perceiving). I think they said I should be a school teacher. I guess there was no question rating ones aversion to children.
I'm bringing this up today, because David and I have been invited to a Day of The Dead party next month. David will be out of town, and I am having the hardest time deciding whether or not to go.
In the Yes column:
- I know and like two or three people who will be there
- It will be a new and different experience
- There will be lots of great Mexican food
- I need more friends
In the No column:
- I have social anxiety about parties
- I hate small talk
- It is out of town, so I will be trapped until the carpool is ready to leave
- My social safety blanket (David) will not be there
- Did I mention that I hate small talk?
After our Labour Day party last month, I swore I wouldn't do the "party" thing again. I love small gatherings - 6 or 7 people around a dinner table engaged in one conversation. I am totally at home in that situation. I don't need my safety blanket, I don't even need to know anyone. The other though - the short conversations that happen as people mingle and move about a party, ugh. Hate them. I want to show up at the end of the party, when there are just a handful of people left, hanging out in the kitchen, picking at the almost empty food trays, relaxed and engaged with one another.
Is it too much to ask for quality over quantity in conversation? Should I push myself out of my social comfort zone, or just accept it for what it is? Should I make myself a bumper sticker that says Proud to be an INFP?

Speed Blog

2007-10-16T18:01:00.000-04:00

I had great plans for this Photo Tuesday, but then work and taking Grace to the beauty shop and mowing the lawn and yoga and getting ready to go to the Opera got in the way. It was about time for Jimmy to make a blog appearance anyway. So today I give you "White Dog with Yellow Ball" for your viewing pleasure. (Make that White Dog with Nasty Old Stinky Yellow Ball).

Finally accepting the learning curve.

2007-10-14T18:23:00.001-04:00

This is a section of a painting I worked on this week.
I don't like it.
The cool thing is, I don't care. I'm not throwing a hissy fit, not berating myself for being a fool for ever thinking I could be any good at this, not ready to give away all my beeswax to start on something new. I just look at it and think, "Nah, doesn't really work. Colours all wrong. Too busy at the bottom..." I'm sure even Vincent painted some crap early on.
And the beauty of encaustic is the endless recycling possibilities! So here I am scraping off a ribbon of paint that I can use in a future painting. And I still like the idea of golden wheat against a blue sky, so I'll just try again :-)

90 Faces All in a Row

2007-10-11T16:32:00.000-04:00

I spent part of my afternoon revisiting the show my neighbour MaryAnn Zotto has hanging in a local gallery. Believe it or not, MaryAnn has never been a portrait artist. She often sneaks her own face into paintings, but has never done others. Uh huh. 'Tis true.
This is from a short article on the show...
The amount of work that Zotto has produced for this project is astounding. In her downtown Winston-Salem studio, she reveals the culmination of two years of work — nearly 90 pieces dedicated to the Werehouse. Within that collection are 33 portraits, in addition to 50 portraits of what she calls "scary face drawings" (in which she asked some of the artists to give her a scary face) and an assortment of collages about some of the Werehouse inhabitants and the art openings that have occurred there. Together, the collection gives viewers a glimpse into the Werehouse culture and the shared ideals of its inhabitants.

The paintings are even more vibrant and alive in person. So much time and talent. I left feeling a little speechless. I guess I still am.

Art is Everywhere

2007-10-09T10:12:00.000-04:00

I'm full of photos this Tuesday :-) A mini gallery of images I've snapped over the last week (can you still say "snapped" with a digital camera?).

The New River Gorge Bridge which David and I crossed on our way to Pittsburgh this weekend. Nature is simply beautiful on its own, but sometimes I find it more breathtaking when it is playing off something man made.

North Carolina tobacco. Just starting to turn yellow in the fall sun.

Every day at a certain time the sun plays this scene on the livingroom wall. The shadows dance and move around the flowers like thick smoke. It doesn't last long, but it is mesmerizing.

A building in Pittsburgh's Southside district. You gotta love a city that supports graffiti as important public art.

2007-10-08T21:09:00.001-04:00

Self Portrait Scribble

2007-10-07T17:02:00.000-04:00

Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving everyone :-)

It's time to fess up.

2007-10-04T20:33:00.000-04:00

I've got a crush on New York City.
I actually think I'm not unlike a weird celebrity stalker. There are evenings where I while away hours reading web reviews of Greenwich Village and Upper West Side Bed and Breakfasts and Boutique Hotels. I love seeing what other people think of my crush - oh look! Paul and Joanne from Boston loved the little breakfast alcove. How nice. And there's a fair trade coffee shop right on the corner... My stalking strategy is to have two or three windows open on my computer so I can flip back and forth between the reviews, the official B&B site and Google Maps where I plot out all the places in the neighbourhood that get recommended.
For a quick celebrity NYC fix, there are the blogs that I check, hoping for a little glimpse of my beloved city. Like a fan lurking about waiting for Brad Pitt's cleaning lady to emerge from the house... "psst... please... just tell me what brand of liquid soap he uses..." A few days ago Susanna posted about a trip into the City, and I almost couldn't stand to read it... I WANT TO BE THERE! I SHOULD BE THERE!!!

Dixie Classic Fair 2007

2007-10-02T13:09:00.001-04:00

Every year, David and I go to the fair. Our first stop, right inside the gate is the roasted corn booth. Hot, sweet, dipped in butter, sprinkled with salt. Perfect.

Then it's into the sheep and goat barn right behind the corn booth. Unfortunately we chose the wrong weekend this year, for the goats hadn't arrived yet. Not to worry, I found some very funny looking sheep to entertain me (dressed in their Pj's to keep them from getting dirty until the judging begins). I'll make a return trip this weekend to see the goats :-)

Then it's into the agricultural barn to see this year's crop of prize winning hay, pumpkins, honey, matching gourds etc. etc. I like to listen to the serious conversations between farmers leaning over the railings looking at the clumps of blue ribbon pasture grass...

Then we grab an ice cream and hit the other must-sees on our list: The Border Collie herding show, the chainsaw sculptor, the Christmas wreath decorating winners, the collections, and the local Sheriff's booth, where every year David likes to stop and have them explain the difference between the local police, State Troopers, the highway patrol, County Sheriff, etcetera etcetera. And finally, we take a wander through the Midway. Should we pay 50 cents to see The World's Smallest Woman! and The World's Biggest Snake!? Maybe next year...

The Birds are Back

2007-09-30T10:26:00.000-04:00

encaustic, oil and Swedish sewing pattern on 7"x5" canvas board
It's been a busy week, and I didn't get into my studio to paint until yesterday afternoon. But once there, these little encaustic pieces came quickly and without effort. So easily in fact, that I found myself questioning... Is it art? Are they "good"? Do they need more?
But today, I don't care :-) I made them. I had fun. I like them. Why would I demand more than that?!

encaustic, oil and Swedish sewing pattern on 5"x7" canvas board

2007-09-27T15:52:00.000-04:00

Signs of Fall

2007-09-25T16:22:00.001-04:00

Remember last Christmas when I hung red ornaments on our newly planted Dogwoods? Well this year, the trees are giving me an early gift and decorating themselves.

Table for Four Please

2007-09-23T19:39:00.001-04:00

This afternoon, after procrastinating for months, I put some faces to the chairs (no legs yet) that have been sitting in the corner of my studio since Spring. The chairmaker is on a cross-continent trip with his wife, and last I heard they were in Vancouver... But they are sure to turn up back here at some point, and I thought it would be nice if I had these done when they do. I can't say it has been all that fun. I love drawing my little cartoony doodles, but I struggled with these. I wish I could have enlisted my cousin Sandi, whom I discovered on my recent trip, is a master at both acrylics and art for children (wall murals and such). Am looking forward to seeing all these characters around the little table Tom has built for them though...

This makes me happy...

2007-09-22T10:38:00.000-04:00

I first saw this when Stacy blogged it months ago. She has it on her site again this week, and I can't help but share it here too. In my fantasy dinner party, I would sit Matt next to Peter Gzowski and across from Ian Wright. Love the music too...

Flags of Two Sisters

2007-09-20T18:14:00.001-04:00

After four lovely days with my Aunt and mum in Upper New York State, I am back home. And happy, no, thrilled, to report, there is a touch of fall in the air here too :-) Ahhhh....
I had an amazing flight from Albany to Charlotte. I usually select an aisle, but this time had a window, on the left of the plane, and was treated to fantastic views of Manhattan, Philadelphia, and Washington on the way home. I guess we were crusing quite low... As we passed NYC, I could see all of the Midtown skyscrapers... Ellis Island, then the Capitol Building, National Mall and Pentagon as we flew over Washington. So cool :-) Will post more about my trip and reconnecting with family in a later blog, but for now have posted some photos on my Flickr page.

Three Flowers in a Glass Vase

2007-09-15T23:15:00.000-04:00

beeswax, encaustic and oil paint on 5"x7" paper covered canvas board

I'm posting this a day early because I am leaving in a few hours to hop on a plane for Schenectady New York. My mum is there visiting with my Aunt Dot, and I am joining them for a few days. I haven't seen my Aunt for 12 years (!) and it's been well over a year since my mum and I have been together. I'm excited :-)
I am not back until Wednesday, so no Photo Tuesday this week. Will post on Thursday :-) Have a good week all!

The painting is a new encaustic based on the prints of Richard Spare.
And have I mentioned recently that i LOVE beeswax?

Shhh... Listen...

2007-09-13T13:01:00.000-04:00

Sounds this morning. The ugly "caw" of a bird outside. Tiger and Freddie playing at Carol's. Traffic on Broad Street. The low hum of the house. Other assorted bird calls. Jimmy sighing as he settles into a nap. The sound of a brittle leaf falling off the tree outside onto the bricks. A deep breath in. More birds. A peep and a whistle. Tiger's happy yip-yip.

It's easy to go through the day without even noticing the sounds around us. I've started to list what catches my ear in my morning pages, and have happily discovered all sorts of weird and wonderful things right there for the listening. And when I want a little escapism, I go to this site, close my eyes, and travel somewhere exotic...

Tuesday's Market

2007-09-11T13:39:00.000-04:00

Some photos from my outing this morning to the downtown farmer's market. It's a funny little thing held on Tuesdays and Thursday in a parking alley up near the arts district. The usual suspects include a table with cut flowers, one with baked goods (pies and banana bread), one with tacky costume jewelry and three or four fruit and vegetable vendors. I don't see how it can be a viable way for the farmers to make money. Today I spent a grand total of four dollars, and that's only because I splurged and bought a bag of fresh shucked beans. But still, the farmers come and proudly sell their stuff, and the little market that could struggles on into fall. I don't walk up there every week, but whenever I do, I feel a little more connected to my neighbourhood.

Spreading good vibes.

2007-09-08T19:09:00.000-04:00

beeswax, oil paint, tissue paper on 12"x12" fibreboard

Yesterday morning I got a phone call from the woman who owns the gallery that I have several of my papier mache bowls in. Her call was to tell me that she had spent the previous evening surfing around HDIGH and the links of the artists I love. She talked about how most of the successful artists she works with have voiced similar words about finding their medium, and encouraged me to continue fighting against my inner critic. And, she asked me to bring my paintings by sometime. It was such an encouraging and positive and inspiring call, and to think I almost didn't pick up the phone! (My famous phone phobia.) The remarkable thing to me, is that she didn't have to call. She could have kept all those complimentary and encouraging thoughts to herself, and I would never have known one way or the other. And yet that call made my day. And now I have it in my arsenal, to pull up when I am sitting in my studio feeling discouraged or frustrated or critical. Sharing a kind word should be such an easy thing. Why don't we do it more often? This week, I am going to make a point of voicing my nice thoughts. When a colleague is wearing something I really like. Or the checkout girl has the prettiest colour of eyes. Or David makes a comment I find particularly profound (or hilarious :-). I suspect it will feel a little weird at first. But the skill of sharing kind thoughts is one I think I would like to hone.

Life this week.

2007-09-06T09:41:00.001-04:00

A tree I pass every morning on my walk with Jimmy.

Ringo. My friend Norma's new puppy.
How ridiculous is he?!!

My studio and new painting in the works.

Detail of new painting.

Tiger. Being fostered by my neighbour Carol. Needs a home. I'm trying my best not to get attached...

Before the world led me astray...

2007-09-04T14:39:00.000-04:00

My Artist's Way group is meeting tonight. The member hosting it sent an email with these instructions: please bring a toy, wear your play clothes, and if possible a picture of your self as a child, before you were afraid, critical of your self, before the "world" led you astray from your artist self.

I don't know how old I am here ... Eight? Nine? In the backseat of the car on the long annual summer drive to Nova Scotia. I think it's safe to say, this kid has developed few fears or concerns about life yet. I have good memories of those long trips... Making up silly songs with my sister, mum reading out loud from the front seat, "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" and "Anne of Green Gables", playing car bingo, and "Authors". One summer there was a killer on the loose; the RCMP set up road blocks and we would have to wait in long lines for the car to be checked for fugitives. Another summer we were following the route of Terry Fox. We never did see him, but still. Pretty exciting stuff for a nine year old with an imagination. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone else's photos and hearing their stories. I don't want to be a kid again, and sheesh, I'm glad my face grew into those teeth, but wouldn't it be fun, just for a day, to go back to that?

Birds and Boats

2007-09-02T14:11:00.000-04:00

beeswax, oil paint, tissue paper on 12"x 12" fibre board

A new encaustic piece :-)
We had a party last night for some of David's colleagues and the students in his lab, and for the first time ever, I was pleased to show a few interested people my studio and the art I've been making. I felt a little of that when I was in the groove of my papier mache bowl making, but not as confidently as this. I truly feel I have found my medium. Perhaps I am being a little premature, but after experimenting with
Chinese inks
floorcloths
acrylics
monoprinting
woodcarving
papier mache
watercolours
collage
and
handbuilt pottery
(whew!)
I can honestly say, beeswax is the first medium that feels as if it is meeting me halfway. Actually inspiring me as I work. My studio calls to me now ... Come in! Play!

I'm addicted to these "Toyota ad" birds! I've tried Googling to find out who the artist is who did the original artwork, so I can give him/her credit for the inspiration, but no luck so far. I realize there is little chance of that person stumbling across my blog, but still. I like to give credit where credit is due. Here's the ad. I think it ran a few years ago and is no longer in print.

Have a nice Labour Day all :-) David and I were saying this morning how a holiday Monday makes the Sunday all the nicer. Enjoy.

PS. After much consideration and some sound advice from a good friend, I decided not to become Grace's POA. I feel good about the decision :-)

Aging Gracefully

2007-08-30T11:03:00.000-04:00

This is my friend Grace. I hesitated using this photograph, because I thought it didn't really represent who she is. It's a picture taken a few years back for her church directory, and I thinks she looks a little uncomfortable, a little stiff, not her usual quick to smile self. And then it dawned on me, that is why this photo IS Grace. She's not comfortable in formal situations, like sitting for church directory portraits, and so, this photo is in fact a true likeness of her. Sitting quietly, feeling a little insecure, waiting for the photographer to tell her when to smile. And besides, it's the only one I have.
Grace and I met in 1999 when I was volunteering at Family Services in the Reassurance Program. A little over a year ago, at age 93, Grace moved out of her home of 60 years and into a small Assisted Living facility. Last night her niece called to ask if I would be willing to take over Grace's Power of Attorney. I told her I would think it over and get back to her. Frankly, the idea scares me. What exactly do I have to do? What if I screw up, or forget something, or misunderstand some important legal document? I think Grace may need to move to a new "home" sometime soon because of finances. The idea of having to deal with a government agency about Medicaid eligibility and all the associated applications and forms and interviews intimidates me. I'm 40 years old, and yet I feel totally unprepared to deal with such "grown up" things. When does one start to feel like an adult? When you have kids? When both your parents are gone? When a spouse dies? Never?

On another note... This is the first piece I made at the encaustic workshop with Antoinette Noble. It is thick with wax and paint, and very unlike my usual style. I have been experimenting all week with my new found knowledge and tools, and am still amazed and excited by all the possibilities. Beeswax. Who knew!

Adrenaline is not my thing.

2007-08-28T09:23:00.000-04:00

I took the camera with me on my walk with Jimmy this morning, and you know, I just couldn't find anything to photograph that I wanted to blog about. Seems a little ridiculous really. A whole neighbourhood full of stories and oddities, and not one thing that inspired me to click the shutter. Ah well, we all have days like that. So instead, I have pulled some old photos from the "Things to do" list.

• See the Grand Canyon. May 2003. Check.

• Skydive. March 2005. Check.

I would raft the Grand Canyon again in a heartbeat. It was one of the most memorable travel experiences of my life.
I cannot imagine what it would take to get me to skydive again. I did it. I'm glad I did it. I don't want to do it again.

These are the people in my neighbourhood ...

2007-08-26T12:06:00.001-04:00

This is my friend Bart.

This is Bart's house.

This is the little painting I made for his birthday yesterday.
beeswax, oil paint, pen on tissue

Making space for what's next.

2007-08-23T11:56:00.000-04:00

The Habitat for Humanity ReStore pick-up service just left with six old chairs, two lamps, one stool and my treadmill. The treadmill that I bought when Bobby was old and sore and no longer wanted to go for long walks. The treadmill I thought would free me from having to go down to the Y to work out. The treadmill that has sat in the corner of the guest room, unused and collecting dust since the day I took my first yoga class just weeks after buying it. So, why do I feel so sad?
A few days ago, I gave away the drafting table I used during my Graphic Arts schooling. It was covered with the signs of late night projects and marker illustrations. I gave it to a member my Artist's Way group, and I felt happy watching David load it into her van, going off to serve her and her kids well. The treadmill though... Why so sad about the treadmill? Funny thing is, I am really excited about being able to re-invent the guestroom. Paint the walls a lighter colour, move the bed, maybe create a little yoga corner. And ditto with my old studio space and the drafting table. It had become a dumping ground for old chairs and paint cans. Perhaps now it can be the breakfast nook/Sunday Times spot we have always talked about creating.
These conflicting feelings about my "stuff" makes me think of the begging bowls used by Buddhist Monks. How the tradition of going door to door begging for food is as much about providing the opportunity for others to give as it is about collecting food to live on. Somehow it seems to tie in with my week of purging the house. A lesson in letting go, courtesy of Habitat for Humanity.

The 40's List. Item #1. Establish a home yoga practice. Check.

2007-08-21T16:09:00.000-04:00

Yoga is exhausting ...

When I started practicing Bikram Yoga 5 years ago, I knew pretty quickly that yoga was an exercise I would stick with for the rest of my life. Maybe not Bikram Yoga, but in some form, even in old age, I could envision variations of the poses that would be accessible to my old shrinking body. For quite awhile I have been drawn to the idea of having a home practice. The convenience of being free from the studio's schedule, able to practice 20 mintues or 60 minutes depending on my mood and my energy level and what else I want to do that day. Everything I've read says it is better to do some yoga everyday, rather than lots of yoga once or twice a week. I was down to just one 90 minute class a week at the studio. I bought a couple of DVDs and did them a few times, but it just didn't stick. Then a week before my birthday, on a whim, I picked up this book. I have not missed a day of my new home practice since.

i heart beeswax

2007-08-19T17:40:00.001-04:00

Have been at an encaustic workshop all weekend with this wonderful teacher from New York. I am so excited about everything I learned, and even more thrilled with the fact that I love all the pieces I made! As you know, I struggle with self-criticism, so this breakthrough is a pretty big deal for me :-) I'm sure over the next few days I will begin to sort through the experience in my head, and hopefully come to some conclusions about why this was such a success for me creatively. All ready I know that a lot of it is because of the nature of the medium. I can make decisions about placement, and colour and some detail, but the wax also makes many "decisions" on its own, and it feels more like I am guiding the piece rather than creating it. Frees me from that inner critic who usually won't be quiet.

Here's one you can see close up...

In my head today...

2007-08-16T13:44:00.000-04:00

• Many of the artists I'm drawn to have a very loose, sometimes childlike style. I continue to struggle with allowing myself to be so free with the pen. Here is this morning's attempt.
• It's hot here again this week with highs in the upper 90'sF/30'sC. I just checked the weather in Baghdad. Today's high is 114F/46C. They have only 3 or 4 hours of electricity to run fans or air-conditioning. This is (was?) a modern city of 7 million people. That's the size of London. Almost as large as NYC. I think it's important every so often to contemplate what day to day life must be like in Iraq.
• I love CBC radio. I don't often sit down and actively listen, but last night I sat in the dark of the livingroom absorbed by a fascinating interview on India's Partition. I'm adding listening to the CBC to my "One day when I have the flu for 2 months list".
• I caught a couple minutes of the Larry King interview with Priscilla Presley last night. Her face doesn't move. Only her mouth. It's sorta creepy.

And on that note! Bye-bye 'till The Art of Sunday!

I've got a Mini and an attitude.

2007-08-14T08:46:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly cheeky, I will park the Mini next to the biggest SUV I can find in the parking lot. I imagine the owner returning to their gas guzzling, carbon spewing, impossible-to-parallel-park, apartment-on-wheels that-requires-a-step-ladder-to-get-into, and upon being confronted with how ridiculous it looks next to my cute little car, and overcome with embarrassment, they will slink out of the parking lot, tail between their legs, knowing the error of their ways. I mean, how could they not?
The funny thing about this photo, is that I was parked first. The owner of the Hummer picked me.
I watched a rerun of Seinfeld yesterday. It was the one where Jerry doesn't think he can continue to date a woman because she likes some commercial for chinos that he hates. Everything great about the date is tainted by this one disagreement.
Hummers are my chino commercial.
I pride myself on being openminded towards other peoples life choices, but then I go and make all sorts of generalizations and judgements about Hummer drivers. I mean, they must be selfish right? Have they not heard of global warming? And fearful. As David would say, "Scared of everything? Buy a Hummer!" Oh, and they have got to be self-absorbed and a little aggressive too (do you see how close he parked to me?! Can you not see the white line buddy???). No, I just do not believe I could ever be friends with someone who owned a Hummer. Even if it is the colour of a school bus.
Ok, if someone could bring me a ladder, I think I'm ready to climb down off my high horse now.

a flock of birds, a pair of chairs, a field of flowers

2007-08-12T11:02:00.000-04:00

Early morning doodles. Birds from a Toyota car ad (proving that inspiration can be found anywhere :-). Garden chairs from a catalogue. Flowers a memory of cotton fields on the way to the coast.

Conquering fear one bug at at time

2007-08-09T11:09:00.001-04:00

Last night as I was lying in bed reading, I noticed a bright red lady bug hanging out beside me on the bedspread. "Oh look! A lady bug!" I said to David, and relocated it to my bedside table so I wouldn't inadvertently squish it. Then I got to thinking, would my reaction have been the same if instead of a lady bug, my bed mate had been a big hairy spider, or a shiny black beetle, or, eeegads, a cockroach?!!! Ya, I don't think so either.
A few weeks after we moved into our house, we discovered that something was chewing a hole in a bag of rice we had in the pantry. Our first thought was it must be a mouse, but there were no tell-tale little poops like you usually find with mice. We set a trap but caught nothing, and became even more baffled when the food in the trap disappeared without the trap springing. Weird. Then one evening, David walked into the livingroom and said in a very grave voice. "I know what is eating our rice..."
"Is it a mouse?"
"No."
"It's not a rat is it?!!"
"No"
I couldn't think of what else could possibly be in our cupboard eating our food.
"Well, what is it?"
"A great big cockroach."

In that instant all my fuzzy good feelings about this new home of ours vanished. I truly thought I would never again be able to feel relaxed and safe in this crazy town that bred cockroaches the size of Vienna Sausages. I started moving around the house in a constant state of fear. I'd open cupboard doors by standing off to the side and jumping back. I was terrified doing the laundry and would hold and shake each item at arms length as I pulled it out of the hamper. I was anxious about getting into the shower, getting dressed, opening desk drawers, making the bed, everything!
After about two weeks of non-stop anxiety, I decided I was going to go mad if I kept this up, and since it appeared David was not going to sign on to my idea of moving above the Arctic Circle, I had better deal with this fear. I imagined the worst thing that could happen. I would open the panty door and a swarm of cockroaches would fly out at me.
And that was it.
I wasn't going to die.
My life would not end because we found one cockroach in our cupboard.
My fear of ugly bugs ended in that moment.
As a bonus (and for all of you rethinking your plans to visit), it turned out the roach in our pantry was a species that prefers to live outdoors in wood piles and had probably just gotten lost. I haven't found one inside for years.

I try my best not to respond to people based on their looks, but when it comes to bugs, it's really hard not to squish the ugly ones. But the ladybug just lucked out by being red with polka dots. And spiders can't help that we find them ugly. The cockroaches are on their own though. I don't want them in my house, and I'd rather not run into one on a wood pile either.

*Bugrug is a floorcloth I made several years ago at a workshop with Kathy Cooper

PS. David just sent these pics to me. He says he thinks of these two as the Brad and Angelina of the bug world... hee hee

Photo Tuesday

2007-08-07T15:18:00.001-04:00

I am going to try something new with HDIGH as a way to commit to posting on a more regular basis. So here is the first Photo Tuesday. Tuesday will be my day to post a recent photo, or maybe an old photo I scan, maybe a photo I find online that I find particularly remarkable and feel like sharing. Today's photos were taken this past Sunday at a gathering of my creativity group. One of the members has a condo at a lake about an hour from here, and we were all invited to spend the day. Fun! We ate and ate, splashed and floated in the lake, got to know each other a little better, talked about what creative projects we are working on, and went home at the end of the day tired and happy. I so enjoy spending time with these people. We all lead very different lives and would probably not have crossed paths were it not for the Artist's Way course we took together last fall. We have continued to meet about twice a month since the class finished, and I always feel so inspired and uplifted by their stories and energy.

Getting all the food out for lunch.

Gotta have a BBQ at the lake...

Relaxing on the dock.

The Grand Plan for more reliable blogging is...
Photo Tuesday (see above :-)
Thursday Mix - Whatever tickles my fancy. Maybe a photo. Maybe some art. A link, a limerick, a story, a list...
The Art of Sunday - Something creative I have done myself during the past week.

So see you Thursday!

Winston-Salem Weather Report

2007-08-06T17:40:00.000-04:00

It has been hot.
It is hot.
Is is going to be hot.
Yes, I know there are places that are even hotter. But puh-lease, I grew up in Thompson Manitoba. My cells are not evolved to handle these temperatures for prolonged periods. I have tomorrow off, and based on this forecast I will not be leaving the house, so I will do my best to post about something other than the weather.

Tuesday Mix

2007-07-31T13:26:00.000-04:00

A new beeswax collage. This is one of those pieces that I think I would love if someone else had made it, but doesn't quite do it for me. I'm going to leave it hanging for a few days to see if it grows on me. I like the colours, and the texture of the crayon dots, and the skeleton leaves... I think what bothers me, is it is just too "soulless". It's greeting card art. There is nothing personal to it. Although there is nothing personal about this one, and I really like it. Go figure.

David and I spent the weekend up in Asheville for Bele Chere. A little extension of my birthday :-) Lots of good music, fair food and great people watching. We always talk about how we should do more "weekend trips" and then only plan big holidays. This was perfect though. A two hour drive, a shoulder bag of clothes and some wonderful new memories.

This was a local band called "The Barrel House Mamas". They had so much fun on stage, and had some amazing harmonies. I love finding new regional bands. And don't you think listening to a CD after you have watched a performer in person makes it so much ... richer? (I wonder if this girl thinks I was taking a photo of her?)

Amsterdam. City of Bikes.

2007-07-26T21:03:00.000-04:00

Memories of Amsterdam
Lots of bikes.
Men on bikes.
Women on bikes.
Women in business suits on bikes.
Men with briefcases on bikes.
Women on cellphones on bikes.
Men with cigarettes on bikes.
Men and women with umbrellas on bikes.

Ok, I think you get the picture. It felt like a Hitchcockian swarm of bikes at times. My friend Cockie, who I went to visit, lives across a large canal (or is it a river?) from the Central Station. Everyday after breakfast we would take a short ferry ride across the canal to the main part of Amsterdam where all the action is. When the ramp of the ferry came down to let everyone off, it was like the beginning of the Tour de France, except everyone was riding their bike in work clothes and usually smoking a cigarette or talking on their cellphone. It cracked me up every time!
Here is a photo of a "parking garage" in Amsterdam... (And you think it's hard remembering where you parked your car at the mall?!)

PS The illustration is a beeswax collage I finished today. I think I might make one of Stockholm as well.

Hey-hey it's my Birthday!

2007-07-24T12:23:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning to a pimple and my period. What am I? Sixteen?
No.
As a matter of fact... I'm FORTY!!!
Being 40 is such an abstract idea for me. I do feel different than I did in my 20's or early 30's. I feel more confident, less concerned with fitting in, more comfortable with admitting when I don't know or understand something. And I guess those are things that come with "age". But somehow, that still doesn't translate to me as "getting older". I'm convinced not having kids plays a big part in not being able to track the passage of time. My life today is really not that different from what it was 5 or 10 or 15 years ago. Little Johnny hasn't gone from diapers to high school, so I can look around and everything seems much the same as it's always been.
I made a list yesterday of all the stuff that happened in my 30's. There were some pretty consequential things on it. Moved to a new country. Got married. Dad died. Bobby died. Became a Graphic Artist. Started practicing yoga. I don't know how much longer David and I will live here, but I think I will always look back on my 30's as "the decade I lived in the South". Or maybe, "the decade I came to terms with living in the South". In any case, making that list reminded me that life takes some planning. That if you just sit back and let it happen, well you are just a cork bobbing along in the current. So I've been inspired to actually set some goals for this next decade. Something I have never done before. My first goal is to sit down and think about what those goals might be! What do I want on the list I will write 10 years from today?
I'll keep you posted.
I've had a nice day so far :-) David took me out for pancakes this morning, then I did some grocery shopping at WholeFoods, watched an episode of What Not To Wear, opened the presents that arrived in the mail earlier this week, wandered downtown to check out two art galleries for inspiration, and now am sitting having my Earl Grey with Jimmy snoozing at my feet and a nice breeze coming in the window.
And that's not a bad list either.

Recipe for a lazy Sunday afternoon ...

2007-07-22T18:14:00.001-04:00

• a good book
• the time to read it
• a front porch
• shade and a breeze
• comfy clothes
• a cool drink

You Can't Buy Happiness

2007-07-20T17:21:00.000-04:00

But you can buy a really nice handbag...
Today before catching the bus home, I wandered over to the little mall across from my office in search of some new tissue paper for my latest beeswax collage project. I did find a few pieces of tissue, but I also made an impulse buy of a new clutch.
It has got me thinking about shopping and coveting and happiness. I'm excited about my fancy new purse, but I expect, like with most purchases, that in a few days, maybe a few weeks, the thrill of it will have worn off. I'll still like it, but I won't feel the way I do today. In his book Happy Yoga, Steve Ross talks about the difference between happiness which he argues is "independent of circumstance" and pleasure which comes from fullfilling a desire (and therefore depends on circumstance - I saw the purse, I desired it, I bought it, desire is gone, I feel pleasure). There have been times when I have been giddily happy and questioned it because circumstances were no different than the days before when I did not feel so joyous.
Must give this some more thought.
Having acknowledged that "shopping won't fix it", there are a few things that have not lost their ability to thrill me a little. My too tight, second hand GAP sweater with the tulip on the front. And my bright orange canvas basket that I use for everything from grocery shopping to lugging stuff to work.
Maybe I'll be lucky, and my new clutch will join the forever-pleasure list :-)

It's 9 year old me...

2007-07-16T15:22:00.000-04:00

My name is Nadine Buckinger. I am nine years old. My favorite thing to do is ride my horse. There is one thing I don't like doing but I have to, it's putting on the saddle. It is hard to lift up because it is 55 pounds. I also don't like doing the dishes so my sister does them. There is one thing I love doing it is watching the filly. I can hardly ever go near my sister because she says I smell like a horse. I like singing and my mum says I should go into the festival... Here is a picture of myself

I got this from my mum in the mail. It cracks me up on so many levels. Like how I happily volunteer that I smell like a horse, having no clue that perhaps my sister isn't the only one who might find that offensive. How I am so matter-of-fact in announcing that my mum thinks I am such a great singer I should enter the town festival. (I guess humility isn't taught until grade 5 or 6.) That even back then, I used three dots as a way to end a sentence. And WOW! I could lift 55lbs at age nine!
The self-portrait makes me smile too... The center part through straight hair, the shy smile and mitten-hands, but a posture that says, I think I'm actually sort of cool...

When it's hot and you're a horse ....

2007-07-11T20:57:00.000-04:00

I can't see an animal rolling on the ground without thinking of Bobby and her amazing ability to find some stinky dead fish in the middle of a field seemingly miles from the nearest lake or river... If there's a heaven for dogs, Bobby is God's official fish inspector.

Parlez-Vous uh...???

2007-07-08T20:55:00.000-04:00

My friend Julie has gone to the beach for a week, and I have been enlisted to check on her two horses while she is away. I don't have to do much - the owner of the stable does all the big stuff, I just go out, make sure they have fresh water, give them a little affection and feed them a few carrots. It's an odd thing to be dealing with these huge animals that I am so unfamiliar with. I feel pretty confident in my ability to speak Canine, but ... Equine? Julie is a little wisp of a woman, and she is fearless around them. Her dad was a horse trainer, so she spent her youth in and out of the barn. For me, I think the best course of action is to keep myself armed with sweet apples, carrots and, yes it appears to be true - they love peppermints :-)

Scraps of Life

2007-07-06T15:25:00.000-04:00

I cleaned up my studio Wednesday, and just love seeing the table and desk free of piles and junk, calling to me to sit down and create something. This is a photo of the wall above my "tea chair". I have so many little scraps of things - postcards, photos, magazine clippings, business cards, tags, notes... I could paper every inch of every wall and still have stuff leftover. I've never figured out how to do a "revolving collection"... Once something makes it onto the wall, I hate to take it down, and yet I have an endless supply of photos and inspiration that deserve their own wall-time. Sometimes I fantasize about getting the flu for a month, and restricted to bed, I would spend my time watching movies from my "to rent" list and browsing through shoe boxes of pictures and papers and trip memorabilia.

Some thoughts on Sweden

2007-07-02T15:15:00.000-04:00

Ok. I admit it. I've been feeling a little intimidated about blogging about my trip. I mean look at this city. How could little 'ole me, who doesn't fancy herself much of a wordsmith to begin with, do justice to THAT.
So, I'm just going to do what I do best.
Make a list.
A few memories of Sweden...
• In Stockholm all the restaurants with outdoor patios have blankets to wrap yourself in when it gets chilly. It looks so comically pretty in the evening - each patio with its collection of red or blue or grey blanket-wrapped customers. "Lets go to the red blanket patio tonight..."
• Stockholm and Gevle are full of lovely little public parks and outdoor art - sculpture and such
• There are two colours of paint in Sweden, dark red and yellow ocher (more Sweden photos here)

• My first impression was of how many bikes there were. But then I went to Amsterdam, and Sweden no longer seemed so full of bikes. (More on Amsterdam later.)
• No one tips in Sweden. The first morning I left a tip for the chambermaid, and she put it back on the pillow after making the bed! A Socialist country with a living wage for all. What a nice idea :-)
• Stockholm was breathtakingly beautiful. And clean. And easy to navigate.
• It never got dark.

Happy Canada Day Everyone!

2007-07-01T14:00:00.001-04:00

David and I are off to celebrate Canada Day North Carolina style... He's going to the driving range, and I'm walking the dog...:-) We will be wearing the white and red Canada t-shirts Ruth sent however, and perhaps even having pancakes and Maple syrup for supper. And tonight we will be tuned to the CBC to watch the fireworks from Parliament Hill. Happy Canada Day! Happy Birthday Charlotte!
*more pretty Parliament Hill photos here.

What I Did on My Summer Holiday

2007-06-28T14:30:00.000-04:00

In 100 words or less. By Nadine Buckinger.
I don't even know where to start. My head is a jumble of travel memories, the return of work stress, and some weird vertigo thing that has been going on since my first afternoon in Amsterdam. So please accept this quick post, and a few pictures until I organize some of the thoughts in my head :-)

First day in Gavle.

Getting ready to take the boat across to Meka (Babbin's sister) and Tommy's island cottage for the afternoon.

Lunch of pickled herring, dilled potatoes and flat bread with Babben's family.

Bon Voyage! Or rather, Trevlig Resa!

2007-06-10T08:59:00.000-04:00

It's 9:00am, and I have already been up for four hours. Unbelievable I know! I am following a "jet lag prevention program" and have been going to bed and getting up a half hour earlier each day for the last week. I love early morning. Jimmy and I went for a nice walk down to the park, just us and the birds. So peaceful.
I'm finally getting excited! This week at work was crazy, and the stress over getting everything done overrode any trip anticipation. Today the excitement is back :-) Fortunately my sister has been doing research for me, so I have a list of neighbourhoods, sights and little shops to seek out in Stockholm. Like this tearoom. Doesn't it look wonderful! I would be happy spending my entire holiday sitting on this corner, sipping tea, soaking in the beautiful cobblestones and architecture, just watching the world go by. sigh. I love travel.
I have decided to leave my laptop at home, so HDIGH will be on pause until I get back June 24th. Look forward to sharing stories then :-)
Bye!

I got three ready for pick up!

2007-06-09T11:06:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago I did a freelance job for a guy who was opening up a "Pet Transportation Service" called Critter Coach. He was a really nice client, so when he emailed me earlier this week asking if I would be interested in doing an illustration for a counter display I couldn't say no. I just finished this cute trio waiting for their ride. You can see the original logo here.

Oh look what Mother Nature has done now!

2007-06-07T20:09:00.001-04:00

Just had to share this photo that my colleague Ted took of a Luna moth that hung out on our office deck all day. I'd never heard of the Luna moth before. Amazing.